Imagine yourself in bed sleeping. Without warning, you are pulled into consciousness and your heart starts to palpitate madly. Uncontrollably.
You refuse to open your eyes and take deep breaths, hoping that the anxiety would simmer down and you can drift off back to sleep.
But the beating doesn't stop. You feel like you can get a heart attack any second. You open your eyes and see that the world is still asleep. You sit up and fumble in the dark in search for your phone to check the time.
And the rectangular light from the phone flashes on your face.
It's 5 in the morning. Sunrise.
The day begins for you on that very painful moment.
That's me.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
For almost a month now.
It's an agonizing sensation I've been trying to deal with. As much I would pray the night before that I didn't want it to happen, it would. And when it would, I have no one call to calm me down. Everyone's still asleep and of course I wouldn't want to wake them. It's just me. And the darkness.
It's enough to drive anyone mad. Enough to drive me mad.
But you know what? I'm still alive. Surprisingly, I am.
Because I discovered something remarkable. And I thank my friend for sharing it with me through this quote:
"It may not be the best sunrise, but I will go through the day knowing that my sunset will be better."
That line is what's keeping me sane these days. And happy.
Despite the fact that I suffer in the morning, I always end my day wonderfully.
Today, I made it to a point that I would paint my own sunset. I had lunch out with an old friend who treated me (you know who you are. Thank you!) to a nice meal. After catching up with him, I went out again with two friends for a second lunch (I watched them eat. I got free dessert). and ended the day watching Percy Jackson with my dad and siblings.
Now, wouldn't you say that I saw a beautiful sunset today? :)
The beautiful part about my sunsets is that I don't even try to make myself happy. By believing that I will see a beautiful sunset the moment I see the sunrise, everything seems to fall into place. And at that moment, i am pacified.
And that's what I plan to do for this Lenten Season. Not only will I give up something that's like a drug to me, I will also open myself to see 40 sunsets.
40 beautiful sunsets.
And that's enough to defeat 40 painful sunrises.
I hope you see beautiful sunsets from now on. :)
You refuse to open your eyes and take deep breaths, hoping that the anxiety would simmer down and you can drift off back to sleep.
But the beating doesn't stop. You feel like you can get a heart attack any second. You open your eyes and see that the world is still asleep. You sit up and fumble in the dark in search for your phone to check the time.
And the rectangular light from the phone flashes on your face.
It's 5 in the morning. Sunrise.
The day begins for you on that very painful moment.
That's me.
EVERY. SINGLE. DAY.
For almost a month now.
It's an agonizing sensation I've been trying to deal with. As much I would pray the night before that I didn't want it to happen, it would. And when it would, I have no one call to calm me down. Everyone's still asleep and of course I wouldn't want to wake them. It's just me. And the darkness.
It's enough to drive anyone mad. Enough to drive me mad.
But you know what? I'm still alive. Surprisingly, I am.
Because I discovered something remarkable. And I thank my friend for sharing it with me through this quote:
"It may not be the best sunrise, but I will go through the day knowing that my sunset will be better."
That line is what's keeping me sane these days. And happy.
Despite the fact that I suffer in the morning, I always end my day wonderfully.
Today, I made it to a point that I would paint my own sunset. I had lunch out with an old friend who treated me (you know who you are. Thank you!) to a nice meal. After catching up with him, I went out again with two friends for a second lunch (I watched them eat. I got free dessert). and ended the day watching Percy Jackson with my dad and siblings.
Now, wouldn't you say that I saw a beautiful sunset today? :)
The beautiful part about my sunsets is that I don't even try to make myself happy. By believing that I will see a beautiful sunset the moment I see the sunrise, everything seems to fall into place. And at that moment, i am pacified.
And that's what I plan to do for this Lenten Season. Not only will I give up something that's like a drug to me, I will also open myself to see 40 sunsets.
40 beautiful sunsets.
And that's enough to defeat 40 painful sunrises.
I hope you see beautiful sunsets from now on. :)
RSS Feed