It's been almost three months since I've written here. I've just been so busy catching up with my school work. But since I'm officially on my sembreak, I can now freely write what's been up with me since...well, my last entry.
~*~
For three months, I was physically and emotionally battered. I was so spiritually dry because I took a leave of absence from going to prayer meetings every Saturday. I couldn't spend quality time with my family anymore. My grades dropped dramatically and I only had around 3-4 hours of sleep every single day. Even on weekends.
All because of the Freakshow.
~*~
I never imagined myself being in BlueRep. I never dreamed of acting and singing in front of an audience. And DANCING. Oh, God. The dancing was the biggest reason why I didn't want to join BlueRep. Those who know me know that the reason why I sing is because I don't dance. It's not that I'm bad at it (chos, HAHA.), it's just that I don't want.
But there was one beautiful soul who saw something in me-- something even I couldn't see. It was that kind of something that would change my life.
So I decided to audition for BlueRep and to my surprise, I was accepted. I was actually already content with that but that same person who pushed me to try getting in BlueRep, wanted me to audition for the newbie played called, "Freakshow."
Because he's my best friend and I trusted the fact that he knew what he was getting me into, I reluctantly sang, danced, and acted in front of the more seasoned people of org. I felt so embarrassed. I didn't like my audition. I didn't sing very well, I forgot some teeny parts from the dance, and I never really encountered the words, "cold reading," before so I guess you can assume what happened there.
It was to my surprise that I got accepted into the cast and even became one of the leads of play. I was to play Violet-- one of the Siamese twins. Violet's the shy and reserved one of the pair. Her dreams of settling down and having a husband was a big contrast to her sister's dream which was to travel and become famous.
I'm more of her sister, Daisy, in real life-- loud, dominant, and vocal. So turning into a Violet was certainly a big challenge for me.
At that point, my life was compartmentalized into two sections: "Freakshow" and "Everything Else."
~*~
There were times when I would call my best friend, crying and telling him that I was so exhausted and that my grades were suffering so bad. My dad started to complain about my late nights in school and I couldn't even spend time with my friends anymore. Since it was my first time to be in a play ever (save for those Filipino and English plays in class), I had a hard time juggling all the stress.
But for some strange reason, I still kept attending rehearsals and was slowly straying away from my comfort zone. I pushed my boundaries as a singer and immersed myself into the character I had to play. I read the script everyday and followed whatever my director told me to do. I kept wanting to go to rehearsals every single day to the point that without it, I felt empty and hungry for it.
The same way a smoker's addicted to his cigarettes.
My castmates were also a big addition to my addiction. I wanted to see them and spend time with each of them because they were all individually wonderful and even more special and powerful when they came together. It's probably the reason why the casting was so apt. Everyone loved everyone despite despite the diversity of personalities. In short, we all accepted each other no matter what.
~*~
During the week of the shows, school was just something for me to go through before it was time to perform. I went through the day, hoping that time would go faster so that I could be with my castmates again. I wanted to go on stage with them. I wanted to escape the student life and become a Freak.
I was so attached to the show. I loved Violet. I loved Daisy. I loved the Freaks. Buddy. Terry. Tod Browning. The Boss. The set. The atmosphere. I loved everything.
~*~
The last show was too emotional for my own good. After the scenes where I cried, I would still be crying backstage while changing into my next outfit. HAHAHA. I had to force myself to stop crying and condition myself for the next scene. It was because I knew that each scene that I was going to perform that afternoon was the last and I wanted to relish every second of it.
The show ended with tears and a strong (and even standing) ovation. Everyone was amazing. Each and every one of those people involved played their parts excellently no matter how big or small. Just like everyone else, I thought of the experience as something unforgettable. Something special that would bond each of us forever.
I really can't say that I regret getting into BlueRep because I don't despite what I went through. What it gave back to me was so much more than I what gave in the first place. I learned more about myself, I got to know more than 50 new people and even gained this new love for theater.
Most importantly, it gave me the assurance that I was going in the right direction in terms what I want to be. It has always been my dream to get into a career that I truly and deeply love. As in, I'd wake up every morning not dreading to go to work but look forward to it instead and be thankful for it. I'd always be jumping into one project after next and feel that unexplainable rush when I do it.
I know I'm meant to perform. I just know it.
~*~
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
To my family, thank you for supporting me in everything I do. Thank you for picking me up late at night, for tolerating my absence during family dinners, for trying to understand my mood swings, and for just being there all the time. Thank you for the bouquet of flowers. :)
To my friends and relatives who went to watch the show, thank you so much for coming to celebrate the beauty of the production. I know that you all would have gone somewhere else but you chose to sit through the whole 2 hours and 30 minutes of the show. I would mention all of your names but then my post would be longer as it already is.
To my barkada, I love you all for going to watch me. You don't know how much it means to have you come to watch my show. Thank you for supporting me and going all the way to Ateneo. You're the best set of friends a girl could have. Special thanks to Rav for my bouquet of roses.
To my bestfriend, Bibo, thank you for changing my life. Thank you for pushing me to join and for supporting me throughout the whole thing. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known the beauty of theater, the freaks whom I love so dearly, and my ability to do more than just singing. Thanks for tolerating my mood swings, my random weepy phone calls, my incessant bickering about boys, and my insanity. Thank you and I love you. :)
To XOXO, I know I haven't seen you all in so long but you guys watching the show gave me the chance to see you all again even for a moment. It means so much that you all came together to watch me do what I love doing. I love you all very, very, much. I'll be going back to prayer meeting soon so I better see you there! :)
To my fellow freaks, you don't know how much I love each of you. Experiencing each moment of the Freakshow with all of you is something I'll keep in my heart forever. I'm glad I got to know all of you and performed on stage with you. I really can't imagine a different set of cast members. You all belonged on that tiny yet intimate stage.
To the production team of Freakshow, thank you for the effort and late nights that you spent for the Freakshow. I can tell how difficult it is to be in your position and I want to commend you all for all for doing such a great job.
To Cassie, Joanne, and Toff, you guys are just amazing. I really don't know what else to say. You put so much effort in this for the love of theater and you inspire to do my best for the same purpose. I love you three so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
To my God, the one who gave me the Freakshow, thank You for giving me this chance to learn more about myself and to see a different side of your majesty. Thank You for the giving the strength and patience to work through the whole production. I know I haven't spent as much time with you as I should but I promise You, babawi ako. :) Love You, Dad.
~*~
For three months, I was physically and emotionally battered. I was so spiritually dry because I took a leave of absence from going to prayer meetings every Saturday. I couldn't spend quality time with my family anymore. My grades dropped dramatically and I only had around 3-4 hours of sleep every single day. Even on weekends.
All because of the Freakshow.
~*~
I never imagined myself being in BlueRep. I never dreamed of acting and singing in front of an audience. And DANCING. Oh, God. The dancing was the biggest reason why I didn't want to join BlueRep. Those who know me know that the reason why I sing is because I don't dance. It's not that I'm bad at it (chos, HAHA.), it's just that I don't want.
But there was one beautiful soul who saw something in me-- something even I couldn't see. It was that kind of something that would change my life.
So I decided to audition for BlueRep and to my surprise, I was accepted. I was actually already content with that but that same person who pushed me to try getting in BlueRep, wanted me to audition for the newbie played called, "Freakshow."
Because he's my best friend and I trusted the fact that he knew what he was getting me into, I reluctantly sang, danced, and acted in front of the more seasoned people of org. I felt so embarrassed. I didn't like my audition. I didn't sing very well, I forgot some teeny parts from the dance, and I never really encountered the words, "cold reading," before so I guess you can assume what happened there.
It was to my surprise that I got accepted into the cast and even became one of the leads of play. I was to play Violet-- one of the Siamese twins. Violet's the shy and reserved one of the pair. Her dreams of settling down and having a husband was a big contrast to her sister's dream which was to travel and become famous.
I'm more of her sister, Daisy, in real life-- loud, dominant, and vocal. So turning into a Violet was certainly a big challenge for me.
At that point, my life was compartmentalized into two sections: "Freakshow" and "Everything Else."
~*~
There were times when I would call my best friend, crying and telling him that I was so exhausted and that my grades were suffering so bad. My dad started to complain about my late nights in school and I couldn't even spend time with my friends anymore. Since it was my first time to be in a play ever (save for those Filipino and English plays in class), I had a hard time juggling all the stress.
But for some strange reason, I still kept attending rehearsals and was slowly straying away from my comfort zone. I pushed my boundaries as a singer and immersed myself into the character I had to play. I read the script everyday and followed whatever my director told me to do. I kept wanting to go to rehearsals every single day to the point that without it, I felt empty and hungry for it.
The same way a smoker's addicted to his cigarettes.
My castmates were also a big addition to my addiction. I wanted to see them and spend time with each of them because they were all individually wonderful and even more special and powerful when they came together. It's probably the reason why the casting was so apt. Everyone loved everyone despite despite the diversity of personalities. In short, we all accepted each other no matter what.
~*~
During the week of the shows, school was just something for me to go through before it was time to perform. I went through the day, hoping that time would go faster so that I could be with my castmates again. I wanted to go on stage with them. I wanted to escape the student life and become a Freak.
I was so attached to the show. I loved Violet. I loved Daisy. I loved the Freaks. Buddy. Terry. Tod Browning. The Boss. The set. The atmosphere. I loved everything.
~*~
The last show was too emotional for my own good. After the scenes where I cried, I would still be crying backstage while changing into my next outfit. HAHAHA. I had to force myself to stop crying and condition myself for the next scene. It was because I knew that each scene that I was going to perform that afternoon was the last and I wanted to relish every second of it.
The show ended with tears and a strong (and even standing) ovation. Everyone was amazing. Each and every one of those people involved played their parts excellently no matter how big or small. Just like everyone else, I thought of the experience as something unforgettable. Something special that would bond each of us forever.
I really can't say that I regret getting into BlueRep because I don't despite what I went through. What it gave back to me was so much more than I what gave in the first place. I learned more about myself, I got to know more than 50 new people and even gained this new love for theater.
Most importantly, it gave me the assurance that I was going in the right direction in terms what I want to be. It has always been my dream to get into a career that I truly and deeply love. As in, I'd wake up every morning not dreading to go to work but look forward to it instead and be thankful for it. I'd always be jumping into one project after next and feel that unexplainable rush when I do it.
I know I'm meant to perform. I just know it.
~*~
SPECIAL THANKS TO:
To my family, thank you for supporting me in everything I do. Thank you for picking me up late at night, for tolerating my absence during family dinners, for trying to understand my mood swings, and for just being there all the time. Thank you for the bouquet of flowers. :)
To my friends and relatives who went to watch the show, thank you so much for coming to celebrate the beauty of the production. I know that you all would have gone somewhere else but you chose to sit through the whole 2 hours and 30 minutes of the show. I would mention all of your names but then my post would be longer as it already is.
To my barkada, I love you all for going to watch me. You don't know how much it means to have you come to watch my show. Thank you for supporting me and going all the way to Ateneo. You're the best set of friends a girl could have. Special thanks to Rav for my bouquet of roses.
To my bestfriend, Bibo, thank you for changing my life. Thank you for pushing me to join and for supporting me throughout the whole thing. If it weren't for you, I wouldn't have known the beauty of theater, the freaks whom I love so dearly, and my ability to do more than just singing. Thanks for tolerating my mood swings, my random weepy phone calls, my incessant bickering about boys, and my insanity. Thank you and I love you. :)
To XOXO, I know I haven't seen you all in so long but you guys watching the show gave me the chance to see you all again even for a moment. It means so much that you all came together to watch me do what I love doing. I love you all very, very, much. I'll be going back to prayer meeting soon so I better see you there! :)
To my fellow freaks, you don't know how much I love each of you. Experiencing each moment of the Freakshow with all of you is something I'll keep in my heart forever. I'm glad I got to know all of you and performed on stage with you. I really can't imagine a different set of cast members. You all belonged on that tiny yet intimate stage.
To the production team of Freakshow, thank you for the effort and late nights that you spent for the Freakshow. I can tell how difficult it is to be in your position and I want to commend you all for all for doing such a great job.
To Cassie, Joanne, and Toff, you guys are just amazing. I really don't know what else to say. You put so much effort in this for the love of theater and you inspire to do my best for the same purpose. I love you three so much. Thank you, thank you, thank you.
To my God, the one who gave me the Freakshow, thank You for giving me this chance to learn more about myself and to see a different side of your majesty. Thank You for the giving the strength and patience to work through the whole production. I know I haven't spent as much time with you as I should but I promise You, babawi ako. :) Love You, Dad.
"Strike tents, pull the stakes up. Go gents, let the brakes up. No fence, stops us from moving on to our next show. Farewell."
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